It’s a Circular covering in an Oval world!

Do you put paper down on public toilet seats? If you don’t, you probably will think this is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever read! If  you are a paper-putter-downer, read on!

I’ve done this forever! My mother did it, her mother did it, her mother did it, and so on back to the garden, where certainly they used leaves instead of tp or liners! It was definitely more environmentally friendly!

It’s bothered me for a long time. Most recently, I noticed it on the Pa. turnpike. WHY (and I am screaming) DO THEY HAVE CIRCULAR TP COVERS WHEN THE TOILET IS OVAL!

I know, in terms of big problems, this is not a big deal. Butt. Ooops, I mean, but. But, you will encounter a multitude of problems because of this.

If you just acquiesce and go with the circular liner, your hoo-hah will press flesh with the toilet seat. Some people don’t care. Rick, for example, plops his derriere anywhere!  As for me, I don’t want my touche touching the same seat where a multitude have sat. Better yet, where squatters missed and hit the seat!

Businesses would save money if they provided oval liners. Do they even exist? If not, I should invent them. I would make them with designs! (Awe, too cute to use. Just think, liners in pink, purple, green, ones with dogs, smileys, poop emojis, etc.)

It’s a process!!!! So, I carefully line the circular cover on an oval seat. All seems fine, until it starts to cave inward! Dang, it eventually falls into the water! ugh! So, I end up using bits and pieces of three tissues  to get it covered just right! That’s if all goes well. Sometimes you can’t even get the liners out of the holder. Sheesh! That’s a game changer all together. You could use scads of them. Or worse yet, rip an entire handful in half, leaving behind the one side. Now THAT’S a waste of good tissue seats!

So, maybe I’ll start a group petitioning for oval covers. Oh, they do have the little Charmin on the go packets. I think my mother gave me some one time. Not sure if they are oval or circular. I don’t BMOL—bring my own liners, so forget that idea!

When there’s no time for nonsense or exactness of fit,  we become squatters or ploppers and are just darn glad we made it to the toilet in time!

As for me and my beehine, we prefer properly fitted covers. Oh, no, I just thought of something…reusable covers. Or, maybe leaves, like they used in the Garden. Hey, they are environmentally friendly, yes?

Don’t I have other things to do, you ask? Why yes. Yes, I do!

Have a great day!